Don't make these mistakes!

Don't make these mistakes!

Today I'd like to talk about 15 common errors that you should avoid. They are in no particular order:



1) "Following are the qualifications for the job."

This is an incredibly common and always wrong way to start a sentence. It should be The following, as in "the following items."

 

 

Please don't write complaining that this is "persnickety" and that "you see it that way all the time." Your goal in writing and editing should be accuracy above all else. Nothing else matters if what you handle is not accurate. Without rules, writing becomes a jumbled mess.

 

 

This is a good time to remind you to avoid what I have dubbed PARROT'S DISEASE:   Be skeptical and look things up to be sure! Do not trust myths and rumors or repeat things you have seen or heard, no matter how common. This is how such atrocious writing as the examples cited becomes so common. Be uncommon and be sure something you write is correct. Don't just parrot what you read and hear!

2) Anniversary cannot be used correctly for observances shorter than a year. There's no such thing (says the AP stylebook)  

as a "six-month anniversary," for example, despite what some dictionaries may say. To use it that way would be to mock the root of the word, which like annual deals with years (año, with the same Latin root, means "year" in Spanish):

 

Origin of ANNIVERSARY

Middle English anniversarie, from Medieval Latin anniversarium, from Latin, neuter of anniversarius returning annually, from annus year + versus, past participle of vertere to turn — more at annual, worth

 

On a related note: There is no such thing as first annual. Say "inaugural" instead. Something has to be in existence for -- think about it -- at least a YEAR to be an annual event. So when the race comes around on that date the second time, then you can accurately call it the "second annual." But the first time it has not reached annual status.

 

 

3) "He was diagnosed with cancer."

No, he wasn't! No matter how many thousands of times you've seen this construction, it's still wrong every time. This betrays a total ignorance of what it means to diagnose.   Look up the word. Physicians treat a patient and then make a diagnosis, a statement revealing an analysis of a condition based on observation, etc.

Thus, when it's time for a diagnosis, the doctor gives an evaluation of YOUR CONDITION: your illness, your cancer, your malady, your disease -- not YOU. "He was diagnosed" indicates "he" was the thing diagnosed. NO! The CONDITION was diagnosed, not the patient. If you ask the doctor, "OK, doc, what's the diagnosis?" he certainly won't reply, "Billy Jones" or "You." He'll reply by describing A CONDITION, such as a cold, cancer, the flu, etc.

Better would be to say "The doctor diagnosed his condition as cancer" or simply "The doctor told him he had cancer." Similarly, instead of "He was diagnosed with cancer in January" you should word it like this: "He learned he had cancer in January.

I can't help but add this related note: Never under any circumstances use the idiotic cliché "clean bill of health" to describe a person's condition. What, there's a dirty bill of health that others get? Never use it, not in a quote or elsewhere. Just dopey.

 
4) It's spelled minuscule, not miniscule.



5) It's judgment, not judgement. I've seen it spelled with the extra e hundreds of times in comic books, magazines, even job listings. There is no excuse.


 
6) You MUST include the comma in this construction, thus making this huge sign at Citi Field in New York incorrect:

                        
                                        

Why? A sentence can have a totally different meaning without the comma, which in this case is used to separate a subject (Mets) from the command given to it. A prime example: Let's eat Grandma means we should be cannibals and devour our relative. Let's eat, Grandma with the comma is a command for Grandma to join us in having dinner. 

So the sign should say, Let's go, Mets ...


Similarly, it should be "Hi, Michael" and not "Hi Michael," "Run, Jesse" and "I love you, Sheila." Yes, you need that comma.


 
7) It's totally unforgivable to get seasons mixed up or use some ridiculous "official start of" to state when a season supposedly begins. It's not subject to debate. The seasons begin when the calendar says so.    In 2013 in the United States, for example, summer just began June 21. 

What am I talking about? Articles that, incredibly, call Memorial Day "the official start of summer." Ahem: Summer OFFICIALLY begins when the calendar officially designates it, not some artificial moment contrived from a holiday. What these articles mean is the UNOFFICIAL (gee, only the total opposite of "official") start of the summerlike period. Same with Labor Day being called the "official" end of summer. NO WAY!


Likewise, virtually nowhere in the U.S. do students go "back to school in the fall." Yet again, Parrot's Disease     sufferers, seeing it this way doesn't make it right. They go back when IT'S STILL THE SUMMER. So get it right and put (if they go back in August) "go back to school in August" or (if like most they return in September) "go back to school in September" or "later in the summer."


I once saw a story that described "that clear fall day" in reference to the Sept. 11, 2001, terrorist attacks. NEWS FLASH: Sept. 11 on any calendar in the Northern Hemisphere is a date IN THE SUMMER. It's just complete ignorance to write it as a fall day. GET IT RIGHT!


8) Democrat as a modifier is Democratic, so it's the Democratic-controlled Legislature, not Democrat-controlled Legislature. George W. Bush intentionally would call the party the Democrat Party just to be derisive. Your job should be accuracy and nothing else.

9) Firm and company are NOT NOT NOT synonyms and should not be used interchangeably. A firm is nearly always a business partnership, such as lawyers who form a law firm. It is a legal entity different from a company or corporation. Just because you think a story would look better without repeating the word company so many times is no excuse for substituting an incorrect word like firm in its place.

Again, it's all about being accurate.

Wrong: He told Nabisco executives that he would never work for such a firm.

Right: He told Nabisco executives that he would never work for such a company.

Right: He joined the law firm of Dewey, Cheatem & Howe.



10) You never "try and do" something other than the extremely rare case in which you are describing a past action in which you tried and then you succeeded at doing something. What you are intending to say in such constructions is you are attempting TO do something, as in will "try to do" it.

If you have studied a foreign language, this is even clearer to see. After one verb usually comes the infinitive of the next verb, which in English begins with "to," as in to run, to walk, to win, to fight, etc. You try TO walk, try TO win, try TO run, etc. "And" doesn't even make sense there in place of to. Try translating, for example, "try and win" to Spanish. It can only come out as the equivalent of try TO win.






 
Wrong: Johnny is going to try and win the election.
Right: Johnny is going to try to win the election.


11) If you write or edit for a U.S. audience, you have no business allowing words like theatre in your story unless that word is part of a formal title such as AMC Theatres.    Same with savior, colour, defence, metre, labour or scores of other words spelled differently in the United Kingdom. Way, way, wayyyyyyy too many people seem to think theatre is the preferred word to make a writer seem more sophisticated. NO!

 

12) While and although should not be treated as synonyms, especially in using while when we really mean although or even worse using while when we mean and. While should indicate a period of time suggesting a simultaneous event.

 

 

Right: He played the guitar while I banged away on the drums. (both playing at the same time on the stage)

Wrong: David Wright hit two home runs, while Lucas Duda had two doubles (while here suggests Duda hit the doubles at the same time Wright hit the homers -- the word to use is and, not while).

Wrong: While the situation is serious, he still found a way to laugh.

Right: Although the situation is serious, he still found a way to laugh.

 

13) However should not be used like but as a conjunction. You can combine independent phrases using but and only a comma (He was the real winner, but others came very close.). Not so with however. You would need to use a semicolon or a period before the word.

 

 

Wrong: He went to the store, however he did not find what he wanted.

 

Right: He went to the store; however, he did not find what he wanted.

Right: He went to the store. However, he did not find what he wanted.

 

Right: He went to the store, but he did not find what he wanted.

14) Sexist and outdated terms such as policeman, mailman,  serviceman, fireman, etc., should be avoided unless in a direct quote. The correct terms are police officer, firefighter, mail carrier, service member and such.


15) These are NOT words, no matter how often you have seen them: alright, centerfield, flyball, treehouse, alot, groundball. It should be all right, center field, fly ball, tree house, a lot, ground ball. I could add a lot of words to this list, but I hope you get the idea and understand how vital it is to LOOK IT UP to be sure!

 


And everyday practically belongs on that list because it is one word ONLY as a modifier, such as an everyday situation. But you read the paper every day, two words. Unbelievable how often it's written as one word. WRONG!



I had a lot more, but this list is getting too long already so it's time to wrap it up.

 

 

My next post will teach you an easy way to figure out when to use who or whom. Stay tuned ...